By Trey Alessio
Balloonerism, an unreleased album Mac Miller recorded in 2014, officially dropped in January, and it transported me back to the Watching Movies With the Sound Off/Faces era, so I wanted to take a look back on Mac Miller’s career and how his music has affected me.
I want to go back in time to the days when HotNewHipHop hosted songs and mixtapes for free. It might be hard for the younger generation to fully understand this, but, at least for me, there was some joy in actually downloading a music project and feeling like it was a part of your collection–almost as if you owned it. Being a huge hip-hop head, I frequently scoured HNHH to find new music and discover new artists. I discovered Mac Miller after K.I.D.S. was already out, but I remember enjoying songs like “Senior Skip Day,” “Don’t Mind If I Do” and “Knock Knock” on my iPod Touch. It wasn’t until Best Day Ever came out in 2011 when I became fully immersed in the Mac Miller fandom. I even remember watching Mac Miller promote and celebrate the mixtape on an early livestream platform the night before its release date. I definitely felt the hype and was all-in after I listened to Best Day Ever in its entirety the next day. I remember hearing Mac’s uplifting, light-hearted message, “No matter where life takes me, find me with a smile. Pursuit to be happy, only laughing like a child. I never thought life would be so sweet. It got me cheesing from cheek to cheek.” As a happy, carefree high school kid, I couldn’t help but buy in after hearing this opening track on Best Day Ever.
I was a straight-A student and a two-sport athlete in high school with big dreams and aspirations, so songs like “Wake Up,” “Life Ain’t Easy” and “Snooze” really resonated with me. I wasn’t really into the party scene in high school, but for some reason, I also enjoyed songs like “Donald Trump” that gave off the turn-up vibe. (I know what you’re thinking with the name of this track, but here’s an old Mac Miller video to remind you where he stands! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm8ISls_TBA) With that being said, Best Day Ever and some songs from K.I.D.S. became a part of my life’s soundtrack, and Mac Miller easily became one of my favorite artists.
2011 was a big year for Mac Miller. He released Best Day Ever, an EP called On and On and Beyond, a holdover mixtape called I Love Life, Thank You and finally his debut album Blue Slide Park, which debuted at no. 1 on the US Billboard 200 chart. Somewhere in there, Mac also went on tour and stopped in my hometown, so a bunch of friends and I went to the concert. He put on a great show, and I even remember him playing guitar, which I thought was so cool. It was such a fun night, and I remember leaving the venue thinking Mac Miller was special.
I was a straight-A student and a two-sport athlete in high school with big dreams and aspirations, so songs like “Wake Up,” “Life Ain’t Easy” and “Snooze” really resonated with me. I wasn’t really into the party scene in high school, but for some reason, I also enjoyed songs like “Donald Trump” that gave off the turn-up vibe. (I know what you’re thinking with the name of this track, but here’s an old Mac Miller video to remind you where he stands! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm8ISls_TBA) With that being said, Best Day Ever and some songs from K.I.D.S. became a part of my life’s soundtrack, and Mac Miller easily became one of my favorite artists.
2011 was a big year for Mac Miller. He released Best Day Ever, an EP called On and On and Beyond, a holdover mixtape called I Love Life, Thank You and finally his debut album Blue Slide Park, which debuted at no. 1 on the US Billboard 200 chart. Somewhere in there, Mac also went on tour and stopped in my hometown, so a bunch of friends and I went to the concert. He put on a great show, and I even remember him playing guitar, which I thought was so cool. It was such a fun night, and I remember leaving the venue thinking Mac Miller was special.
In 2012, I was a senior in high school, and Mac dropped a mixtape called Macadelic. It was an interesting project because we got spurts of that upbeat, fun side of Mac with songs like “Loud,” “Ignorant” and “Lucky Ass Bitch,” but we also got a deeper side of Mac with songs like “Fight the Feeling,” “The Question” and “Clarity.” In the moment, I think I probably enjoyed the fun songs more because I was finishing up high school with those big goals and an optimism about the future. I think a lot of kids with that mentality would gravitate toward the more upbeat tracks rather than the deep, introspective ones, but looking back, I have a bigger appreciation for the deeper cuts. Like Mac, I was still enjoying life to the fullest, but my thoughts about the world were beginning to mature.
Fast forward to June 18, 2013. On this day, Yeezus by Kanye West, Born Sinner by J. Cole and Watching Movies With the Sound Off by Mac Miller all came out, so I remember being giddy with excitement to have so much music to listen to during my summer lawn-mowing gig while I was home from college. Admittedly, I think I pressed play on Kanye or Cole first, but when I finally got around to WMWTSO, it hit me the same way Macadelic did. In the moment, I remember enjoying the more upbeat songs like “Gees,” “Goosebumpz” and “O.K.,” but looking back on WMWTSO, I find myself returning to the deeper cuts like “The Star Room,” “Objects in the Mirror,” “REMember,” “Someone Like You,” “Aquarium” and “Youforia.”
That leads into Mac’s 2014 mixtape Faces where he completely strayed away from any commercial appeal and strictly gave us dark, psychedelic vibes. Obviously, Mac had been experimenting with drugs during this period of time, and it showed with some of the heavier, more introspective topics on Faces. These projects came out during my college years when, like most college students, I was finding myself, finding out more about the world and finding my place in the world as well as the future I wanted for myself. I didn’t mess with drugs, but I did begin to socially drink and attend parties in college. With this newfound mentality and lifestyle in college, my musical tastes also began to shift toward deeper, more conscious rap. As Mac Miller transitioned from the fun-loving rapper we all grew to love on K.I.D.S. and Best Day Ever to the more reflective rapper on WMWTSO and Faces, I found my musical tastes mimicking the same arc.
Fast forward to June 18, 2013. On this day, Yeezus by Kanye West, Born Sinner by J. Cole and Watching Movies With the Sound Off by Mac Miller all came out, so I remember being giddy with excitement to have so much music to listen to during my summer lawn-mowing gig while I was home from college. Admittedly, I think I pressed play on Kanye or Cole first, but when I finally got around to WMWTSO, it hit me the same way Macadelic did. In the moment, I remember enjoying the more upbeat songs like “Gees,” “Goosebumpz” and “O.K.,” but looking back on WMWTSO, I find myself returning to the deeper cuts like “The Star Room,” “Objects in the Mirror,” “REMember,” “Someone Like You,” “Aquarium” and “Youforia.”
That leads into Mac’s 2014 mixtape Faces where he completely strayed away from any commercial appeal and strictly gave us dark, psychedelic vibes. Obviously, Mac had been experimenting with drugs during this period of time, and it showed with some of the heavier, more introspective topics on Faces. These projects came out during my college years when, like most college students, I was finding myself, finding out more about the world and finding my place in the world as well as the future I wanted for myself. I didn’t mess with drugs, but I did begin to socially drink and attend parties in college. With this newfound mentality and lifestyle in college, my musical tastes also began to shift toward deeper, more conscious rap. As Mac Miller transitioned from the fun-loving rapper we all grew to love on K.I.D.S. and Best Day Ever to the more reflective rapper on WMWTSO and Faces, I found my musical tastes mimicking the same arc.
Mac dropped his major-label debut GO:OD AM with Warner Bros. in 2015 followed by The Divine Feminine in 2016. On GO:OD AM, Mac pulled himself out of the drug-infused fog from Faces and gave us a little bit of everything: some light-hearted vibes, some introspection, some bangers, etc. On The Divine Feminine, Mac went fully conceptual by creating a sexually-infused, lovey-dovey album (mainly inspired by his girlfriend Ariana Grande at the time). Again, I found my musical tastes shifting the same way Mac Miller was going artistically. I’d also like to point out that Kendrick Lamar’s album To Pimp a Butterfly came out in 2015 and completely shifted the way I consume and appreciate albums even to this day. With that being said, after To Pimp a Butterfly, I started to appreciate and even prefer concept albums, so The Divine Feminine was a breath of fresh air as a Mac Miller fan.
In 2018, I was fresh out of college and settling into my “adult” job. I was still figuring a lot of things out in my life from my career path and my creative passions to my social life and finding my place in the world, so when Swimming dropped, it really struck a chord with me. While Swimming is mostly filled with sad songs, it’s ironically very hopeful. Around this time, I also found myself diversifying my musical pallet with different genres like R&B, pop, jazz, big band and even some rock, so hearing Mac expand his music with different sounds was awesome. From the jump, Swimming touched me and felt like something that would stick with me for a long time. I remember watching Mac’s Tiny Desk performance on NPR Music and getting so emotional after hearing him perform “2009.” It felt like Mac had finally honed his sound and his message, and it was amazing to see the trajectory of his music and his career.
Fast forward about a month later. On Friday, September 7, I remember being excited heading into work that day because I had a date lined up, which was a rare occurrence for me. That excitement shifted very quickly for me because there was a major outage at my job, so I had to stay late. I remember it being very chaotic with a bunch of people panicking but ultimately coming together to get us back up and running. There was finally a break in the chaos, so a couple coworkers and I were taking a break, and all of a sudden, my group chats and social media platforms erupted. It was announced that Mac Miller died, and I remember feeling like someone punched me in the stomach. I was one of the younger guys at work, but one of the older guys saw how emotional I was getting. I told him Mac Miller died, and we bonded over this moment for a little bit.
Fast forward about a month later. On Friday, September 7, I remember being excited heading into work that day because I had a date lined up, which was a rare occurrence for me. That excitement shifted very quickly for me because there was a major outage at my job, so I had to stay late. I remember it being very chaotic with a bunch of people panicking but ultimately coming together to get us back up and running. There was finally a break in the chaos, so a couple coworkers and I were taking a break, and all of a sudden, my group chats and social media platforms erupted. It was announced that Mac Miller died, and I remember feeling like someone punched me in the stomach. I was one of the younger guys at work, but one of the older guys saw how emotional I was getting. I told him Mac Miller died, and we bonded over this moment for a little bit.
The line that immediately popped into my head was from the song “Perfect Circle / God Speed” on his GO:OD AM album where Mac says, “Everybody saying I need rehab. ‘Cause I’m speeding with a blindfold on. It won’t be long until they watching me crash. And they don’t wanna see that. They don’t want me to OD and have to talk to my mother. Tell her they could’ve done more to help me, and she’d just be crying, saying that she’d do anything to have me back. All the nights I’m losing sleep. It was all a dream, there was a time that I believed that. But white lines be numbing them dark times. The pills that I’m popping, I need to man up; admit it’s a problem. I need to wake up; before one morning I don’t wake up.” I told my coworker about this line, and we both sat there in silence with goosebumps. I was an emotional wreck, so I had to cancel the date I had planned for that night. It was definitely a sad day that sticks out in my memories.
In 2020, Mac Miller’s estate announced that he had been working on a companion album to Swimming called Circles around the time of his death. The concept was intended to be two different styles that compliment each other to complete a circle, thus Swimming in Circles. Much like Swimming, Circles veered off the hip-hop path, blended other genres and sounds and touched on deep, powerful topics to create a beautiful body of work. The Swimming in Circles era was by far my favorite of Mac Miller’s. I think Mac finally honed his sound as an artist and allowed himself to be vulnerable across two complete bodies of work.
In 2020, Mac Miller’s estate announced that he had been working on a companion album to Swimming called Circles around the time of his death. The concept was intended to be two different styles that compliment each other to complete a circle, thus Swimming in Circles. Much like Swimming, Circles veered off the hip-hop path, blended other genres and sounds and touched on deep, powerful topics to create a beautiful body of work. The Swimming in Circles era was by far my favorite of Mac Miller’s. I think Mac finally honed his sound as an artist and allowed himself to be vulnerable across two complete bodies of work.
In a 2019 interview with Vulture, Pharrell Williams was asked about the time he and Mac were planning a project called Pink Slime around 2013 that ultimately never saw the light of day. Pharell said, “[Mac] wanted people to know that there was way more to him than his indie-rap success. He wanted people to know the layers and the depth of his potential. But I would always tell him, ‘Who cares that they know? Why is it not an amazing gift that you know this about yourself so much so that you do these things?’ And that was the question he could never answer. It was the question I don’t think he was gonna be able to answer. He was so focused on that quest that he really didn’t have time to answer.” Well, I think Mac finally showed us the depth and layers within him with Swimming in Circles, amongst other projects that came after 2013, and I think Mac can rest easy knowing we, as fans, appreciate the vulnerabilities and complexities that made him and his music so special to all of us.
This may sound strange, but I felt intrinsically connected to Mac’s music. Maybe it’s because we were only about a year apart in age, or maybe it was because when he grew as an artist, my musical tastes grew as a fan. Like I said, I think we both followed the same musical trajectory as artist and fan, respectively. It’s almost like we grew together throughout life.
In 2024, my girlfriend and I took a trip to Pittsburgh. While we were there, we did a Mac Miller day. We saw the mural painted on the side of the ID Labs studio; we went to Frick Park Market where the owner gave us a tour and a history lesson on the building; we hiked through Frick Park to Blue Slide Park, slid down the blue slide and swung on the swing set; and finally we visited Taylor Allderdice High School. It was an amazing day filled with nostalgia and emotion. When we got back to the hotel, I saw people posting on social media about a mini-trailer that played at Tyler, the Creator’s music festival Camp Flog Gnaw. This trailer began the rollout for Balloonerism, which I thought was so cool that it started while we were in Pittsburgh.
This may sound strange, but I felt intrinsically connected to Mac’s music. Maybe it’s because we were only about a year apart in age, or maybe it was because when he grew as an artist, my musical tastes grew as a fan. Like I said, I think we both followed the same musical trajectory as artist and fan, respectively. It’s almost like we grew together throughout life.
In 2024, my girlfriend and I took a trip to Pittsburgh. While we were there, we did a Mac Miller day. We saw the mural painted on the side of the ID Labs studio; we went to Frick Park Market where the owner gave us a tour and a history lesson on the building; we hiked through Frick Park to Blue Slide Park, slid down the blue slide and swung on the swing set; and finally we visited Taylor Allderdice High School. It was an amazing day filled with nostalgia and emotion. When we got back to the hotel, I saw people posting on social media about a mini-trailer that played at Tyler, the Creator’s music festival Camp Flog Gnaw. This trailer began the rollout for Balloonerism, which I thought was so cool that it started while we were in Pittsburgh.
That leads me to Balloonerism. This is a project that Mac finished around the time of his Faces mixtape. Apparently, songs from this project leaked years ago and have been passed around on the internet for quite some time. Truthfully, I was unaware of this and had never heard any of the songs from Balloonerism prior to the 2025 release, so I was excited to receive some new Mac Miller music. After listening to the album and watching the animated companion film by Samuel Jerome Mason, both left me with a strange feeling. Both were beautiful but had me in a chokehold because they explored the juxtaposition of youth and death, which I think we all, as Mac Miller fans, can ponder now that he’s gone. The music from the album is haunting yet healing; eerie but euphoric. It’s almost like Balloonerism was meant to come out after Mac’s death because there are multiple moments on the album where it feels like he’s speaking to us from beyond the grave.
My brain keeps circling back to that Pharell quote. “[Mac] wanted people to know the layers and the depth of his potential. But I would always tell him, ‘Who cares that they know? Why is it not an amazing gift that you know this about yourself so much so that you do these things?’ And that was the question he could never answer. It was the question I don’t think he was gonna be able to answer. He was so focused on that quest that he really didn’t have time to answer.” Now, in no way am I attempting to vilify Pharell–I think the legendary rapper/producer was actually trying to help Mac by telling him that he could create whatever kind of music he wanted to and it would resonate with his fans. I think Pharell was saying that quest to make his fans aware of the layers and depth within him would be Mac’s downfall. It almost makes me emotional thinking about this weight that Mac was living with–the pressure to show the world he was more than this easy-going frat-rapper. Meanwhile, Mac went down the dark path of drug-use, which eventually took his life away, in order to bring himself to produce music that would ultimately lead to those layers and depth of his potential on projects like Faces, Balloonerism, etc... But I want to emphasize that I believe Mac answered that question Pharell posed and showed people that he was way more than his indie-rap success. Of course, he didn’t have to prove anything. We, as Mac Miller fans, would’ve enjoyed and appreciated anything he did as long as he stayed true to himself. It saddens me that he was burdened with these thoughts, but it comforts me to know that he went out on top of his game musically and artistically. Hopefully he’s “cheesing from cheek to cheek” as he looks down on us, knowing that his music is still impacting fans across the world even after his death.
I find solace in knowing Mac Miller is in a better place because “there’s a paradise waiting on the other side of the dock.” I, as well as all the life-long fans across the world, will continue to listen to and share Mac’s music in order to never let the light that he shined on this world dim.
My brain keeps circling back to that Pharell quote. “[Mac] wanted people to know the layers and the depth of his potential. But I would always tell him, ‘Who cares that they know? Why is it not an amazing gift that you know this about yourself so much so that you do these things?’ And that was the question he could never answer. It was the question I don’t think he was gonna be able to answer. He was so focused on that quest that he really didn’t have time to answer.” Now, in no way am I attempting to vilify Pharell–I think the legendary rapper/producer was actually trying to help Mac by telling him that he could create whatever kind of music he wanted to and it would resonate with his fans. I think Pharell was saying that quest to make his fans aware of the layers and depth within him would be Mac’s downfall. It almost makes me emotional thinking about this weight that Mac was living with–the pressure to show the world he was more than this easy-going frat-rapper. Meanwhile, Mac went down the dark path of drug-use, which eventually took his life away, in order to bring himself to produce music that would ultimately lead to those layers and depth of his potential on projects like Faces, Balloonerism, etc... But I want to emphasize that I believe Mac answered that question Pharell posed and showed people that he was way more than his indie-rap success. Of course, he didn’t have to prove anything. We, as Mac Miller fans, would’ve enjoyed and appreciated anything he did as long as he stayed true to himself. It saddens me that he was burdened with these thoughts, but it comforts me to know that he went out on top of his game musically and artistically. Hopefully he’s “cheesing from cheek to cheek” as he looks down on us, knowing that his music is still impacting fans across the world even after his death.
I find solace in knowing Mac Miller is in a better place because “there’s a paradise waiting on the other side of the dock.” I, as well as all the life-long fans across the world, will continue to listen to and share Mac’s music in order to never let the light that he shined on this world dim.